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| Dementia Oldies (Credit: South Park) |
Handling Dementia Behaviors
Communication can be one of the most
exhausting and frustrating factors when dealing with someone who has dementia.
Familiarising yourself with common situations can help you be prepared to respond calmly and
effectively.
Situation 1 - Aggression with Speech or Actions
“As my mom’s disease progressed, so did the mood swings. She could be perfectly fine one moment, and the next she was yelling and getting physical. Often, it remained a mystery as to what prompted the outburst. For her caregivers, it was often getting dressed or bathing that provoked aggression.” - Ann Napoletan (Caregivers.com)
The most important thing one should always
remember is that your loved ones are not getting aggressive on purpose.
Aggression is usually triggered by something such as poor communication,
physical discomfort or environmental factors. Most of the time, the aggression
simply comes in pair with fear and may attempt to bite, kick or hit the person
they are suspicious of.
DO:
- Observe the cause of the trigger
- Shift the focus to something else that you know can help calm and reassure them
"In my mother's case, she didn't like to be fussed over so talking, touching her arm or rubbing her legs will result her taking a swing at others and getting even more agitated. So often a time when she was triggered, we would leave her but watch her from afar until she has calmed down" - Ann Napoletan (Caregivers.com)
- Refrain from arguing or forcing the issue
- Do not use the word "no"
- Do not use the restraining method unless absolutely necessary
Situation 2 - Poor Judgment
“There came a time when I began to suspect my mom was having problems keeping financial records in order. At the time, she was living independently and was very adamant about remaining in her house. Any discussion to the contrary, or really any comment that eluded to the fact that she may be slipping, was met with either rage or tears. It was when she asked me to help with her taxes that I noticed the checking account was a mess.” - Ann Napoletan
As the damage of the brain cells continues to progress, it will start to affect certain judgments or cognitive thinking skills. This can include hoarding household belongings or items accusing a loved one of stealing their belongings. All these are related to delusions and irrational beliefs. However, there are some issues that are not as obvious as hoarding or accusations; some are more subtle and may take a while to reveal itself.
DO:
- Investigate the extent of the issue; sometimes bills aren't getting paid at all or may have a problem calculating simple maths
- Gently bring up the issues and ask if help is needed to be done
- Persevere and continue to exercise patience
DON'T:
- Do not bring up the issue in a confrontational manner
- Do not argue with them as it may trigger them to be defensive or aggressive
- Do not doubt your loved one abilities to handle the situation
Situation 3 - Confusion about Time and Place
"This isn't my house!", "I don't want to be here!", "When can we leave?" - Dementia patients
The most common things that your loved one will say will be the need to go home. Especially if they are living in a care home for dementia patients. However, do keep in mind that this is the caused of the progressive damage done to the cognitive functions that cause them to lose certain memory and create confusion in their mind.
DO:
- Explain gently by using photos or other tangible items to help them remember where they are or what they are supposed to be doing
- Redirecting them to another topic or activity with minimum explanation is also acceptable
“You have to figure out what’s going to make the person feel the safest, even if that ends up being "a therapeutic lie". - Mariotto
DON'T:
- Lengthy explanations are not the right method, it may promote further confusion
- You cannot reason with someone with dementia or even Alzheimer as our response may trigger them further
"I learned this one the hard way. We went through a particularly long spell where every time I came to see my mom, she would have everything packed up ready to go—EVERYTHING! Too many times, I tried to reason with her and explain that she was home; this was her new home. Inevitably things would get progressively worse.” - Ann Napoletan
With all these in mind, continue to be strong for those who are caring for their loved one with dementia or even those who are caregivers for dementia. It is truly not an easy task as it requires compassion and patience in every area.
If you suspect yourself or others having dementia, please do not hesitate to go to your nearest physician to have yourself assessed.
Learn more at https://www.aplaceformom.com/blog/2013-02-08-dealing-with-dementia-behavior/
References
Stevenson., S. (2016). Dementia
Care Dos & Don’ts: Dealing with
Dementia Behaviour Problems. Retrieved from https://www.aplaceformom.com/blog/2013-02-08-dealing-with-dementia-behavior/
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